My money can't buy the family I'm needing.

Written by Paul on 2. July 2020 02:13 o'clock





I'm always alone wishing someone could see me. I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling. Talking to myself until I'm overthinking. In my penthouse all alone, no one knows that I'm weeping. I swear my whole life is so fucking deceiving. And I stand for rich with the cheques I'm receiving. My money can't buy the family I'm needing. My money can't heal the agony I'm feeling. I need someone to love me, someone to hug me. Someone to be there when my mind gets ugly. I swear they really think my life is stunning. Bro, I come home to absolutely nothing. I'm just a lonely guy loaded with money. Nobody told me my days won't be sunny. I have issues with women, I'm so co-dependent. I can't love myself so I need her to give it. And that's always where my self-worth is depicted. And that's why I date women so narcissistic. My mind is a mess and it's always conflicted. And lately, it's been hard to make a decision. And it pains me that I finally admit it. I've been suicidal and trying not to end it, fuck. I'm saddened to think people that think that I'm reaching. And that is the reason I feel what I'm feeling. I may have some fame, but it's pain that I'm reaping. I been praying to God asking him for a healing. Man, I need my mom, I need my dad. I need the family I've never had. My family's gone, I'm feeling hopeless. Nobody noticed, I'm in a trance. Fuck, yo this shit is too much. I'm single-handedly killing my buzz. I don't make business 'cause I'm in a rut. And all of the stress of it is making me numb. Why do I dream of money and winning when I don't have family to celebrate with me? Look, there is no bullshit excuse you could give me to make me feel like my damn life is worth living. I swear loneliness is a cancer within me. I'm searching for friend's 'cause my family's missing. This shit is exhausting, I'm thinking of quitting. And maybe the end for me is a new beginning.


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